He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
