What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
