Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
