Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
