He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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