he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
