I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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