I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I currently don't understand fingers.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
