idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
