I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
