After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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