Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need to calm my uterus...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
