you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
