you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
