Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
