seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
