Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
