as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
