i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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