Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
