Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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