She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
