But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
