Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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