i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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