on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
