doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
