yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
