So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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