Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
