I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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