fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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