does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
