there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
