spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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