Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
