...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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