is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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