It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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