Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
