He uses pillows to masturbate.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
