That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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