Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
