I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
