Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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