i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
