We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
