I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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