This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
