I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
