if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
